Sarah Edwards’ gloried in her role helping her husband. That was her primary ministry. But with eleven children who left a remarkable legacy, we also have much to learn from her on how to love our children well.
The rich legacy of the Edwards’ family
The Edwards’ legacy is remarkable. They lived in the early 1700′s and by 1900 A.E. Winship, a historian, noted the astonishing contribution that their descendants had on American culture:
- 13 college presidents
- 65 professors
- 100 lawyers, and a dean of an outstanding law school
- 30 judges
- 66 physicians and a dean of a medical school
- 80 holders of public office including three US senators, mayors of three large cities, governors of three states, a Vice President of the US, and a controller of the United States Treasury.
Winship continued,
Many large banks, banking houses, and insurance companies have been directed by them. They have been owners or superintendents of large coal mines…of large iron plants of vast oil interests…and silver mines….There is scarcely any great American industry that has not had one of this family among its chief promoters.
Dodd notes, “This is not to blink at one naughty son and a grandson who were so sensationally shady that the Edwards traits seem to be printed on them in reverse.” Yet the overall blessing and richness that the Edwards’ family added to society is remarkable.
What kind of environment did Sarah Edwards create in her home?
Her home itself was a picture of life. It was not a stuffy place and it would not make the cover of a magazine, but it was full of evidence that her children were growing and developing individually.
The house was open, used, full of clues that the family living in it had vivid interests. Books were left on tables, actually being read, not used as parlor props. There would be needlepoint on a rack by a sunny window and a lute in the corner. Esther, singing, might be putting up a hem for Sukey while a boy did his Latin lesson. It was the opposite of the kind of house where things were preserved in mothballs in locked boxes. Its ambience was of windows flung open, of easy welcome.
What was Sarah Edwards like as a mother?
Sarah had unusual responsibility for managing the household as her husband’s work was so demanding. Jonathan gave the family his complete attention for an hour at the close of each day when the children knew they could come to him with questions. He made a point of singling them out to know them individually and often wrote letters to his children. Jonathan Edwards also took seriously his practice of leading the family in reading Scripture together at the start of each day. Still, as every mother knows, an hour passes quickly, and most of the work of raising the children fell on Sarah.
What was Sarah Edwards like as a mother? Dodd tells us,
Every account of the Edwards house has the same ring. All visitors seem to have been impressed that eleven children managed to be lively and individual as personalities, yet could act courteously with one another and function as a coordinated unit. There may be a key to the many puzzlements of a parent today in a scrutiny of the way Sarah Edwards helped her children become strong characters. Her way was not at all permissive. The requirements were completely clear. But she at the same time allowed the children areas of flexibility that were unusual for that day, and she certainly managed to produce a line of remarkable people.
Their friend Samuel Hopkins observed:
In her directions in matters of importance, she would address herself to the reason of her children, that they might not only know her…will, but at the same time be convinced of the reasonableness of it. [...]
She carefully observed the first appearance of resentment and ill will in her young children, towards any person whatever, and did not connive at it…but was careful to show her displeasure and suppress it to the utmost; yet not by angry, wrathful words, which often provoke children to wrath…Her system of discipline was begun at a very early age and it was her rule to resist the first, as well as every subsequent exhibition of temper or disobedience in the child…wisely reflecting that until a child will obey his parents he can never be brought to obey God.
Nothing makes the command in Titus 2 to love our children difficult like unrestrained sin and disobedience. Sarah’s example encourages us to love our children by not tolerating and overlooking disobedience nor lashing out at them in anger. Her firmness did not squelch her children’s individuality but her home became a place where they blossomed and flourished. That is what it looked like for her to watch over her household diligently. What an encouraging example for us as we love our children! But there’s so much more! Come back tomorrow to continue learning from this remarkable godly woman.
Questions for thought and discussion (feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments below!)
- What is my ideal for how my home should look? Do I seek to make it look well preserved or do I want it to be full of evidence that my children are full of vivid interests that are developing?
- Am I clear in my expectations of my children? Am I consistent in noting the first sign of disobedience and suppressing it to the utmost?
- Is my lack of consistent discipline making it difficult for me to love my children?
(Image of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards’ Home is from Princeton.edu)
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